Conversations With Anna

I know this is not the first post with this topic but bear with me. For some reason conversations with Ryan tend to center around math and science and books and seemingly "normal" things. They aren't conversations that put my parenting skills to the test and make me question my qualifications as a mother. Anna on the other hand is a whole other story. Clearly they are not of the same mold.

Last night as she and I snuggled in her bed after reading, after prayer and after lights out the questions started. Yep, the ones as parents we think we are ready for. The ones we have vowed to answer with honesty and openness. Can you guess where this is going? Yep, S-E-X. Ugh. It all started somewhat innocently when she asked if my friend (who has a son Anna's age) was going to get married. This friend was never married to her son's father and is in fact in a very committed relationship with another man whom her son views as his father because his birth father has chosen to not be involved in his life. Did you get all that?

I explained to Anna that yes my friend might get married some day. Anna went on to ask well if she isn't married how did she have her son? Now this is tough for me because I do believe a couple should be married before having a child but I am also empathetic and understanding that this isn't always the case and certainly I would never judge someone on this. My response was "well while it is a good idea to be married before you have a baby, you don't have to be married to have one." That wasn't making sense to Anna so she kept prying. Finally I said that what it takes to have a baby is a man and woman. Yep, the next question was "how?" So I said, "remember how we talked about the egg in a woman's tummy that a baby grows from, where that is how the baby grows." To which Anna said, "but what about the man mommy?" By now my legs are squirming. Not because I don't want to answer but because I am thinking "how much do I say??"

After taking a deep breath I said, "well the woman has an egg and the man has something inside him called sperm (I told her it swims like a fish) and that it meets up with the egg and that makes the baby that grows in the woman's body." I was very proud of myself at this point thinking I had conquered this discussion. Not so soon . . .

Anna's next question, "but mommy HOW does that fish thing get in the egg?" Now I am really troubled and wracking my brain for what my parenting web sites have said in regards to how to address this. Lucky for me Anna saved me. Here is what she came up with, "Oh mom I get it! So everyone is connected and that is how it happens." I said "yes that is it!" I finally made eye contact with her at this point and she was ear to ear grins, "I really get it mom." And then she was on to a completely new topic.

How much of what I said she will remember remains to be seen but for now I think I am home free!